Nuke the Gay Whales

Nuke the Gay Whales

3 month ago with 13 comments in Uncategorized
When I was about ten, some of my conservative Catholic pals and I had a joke where we would say “nuke the gay whales”. I don’t remember where we heard it, but I remember laughing. The point of the joke was to spit in the eye of The Liberals, because even at that age, I knew that The Liberals hated nukes, loved gays, and cared about whales. It’s weird that it never ...
Bypass

Bypass

7 month ago with 32 comments in Uncategorized
We were at the karaoke bar. My other friends stepped outside for a smoke, and it was just me and E. in the booth. It wasn’t Easter yet, so she was still waiting to become Catholic. She still had lots of questions. She didn’t understand every last bit of it, she said, but she knew about the Eucharist. Hoping I wasn’t causing scandal, I told her that the Eucharist was the only ...
Decay

Decay

12 month ago with 10 comments in Uncategorized
The sanctuary lamp is burning danger-red. The host is sealed away like radium in lead. Behind the golden doors your glowing heart decays, emitting bits of love as burning alpha rays. I’d climb inside that tomb, I’d cook in your desire, my atoms all deranged, my organs all on fire.
Parable

Parable

12 month ago with 12 comments in Uncategorized
So I’m sitting at St. Clement’s trying to get a good cry in before I start the day. Like you do. It’s an odd hour, so there are only three or four people there. Most of us are scattered, but one, an old African man, is kneeling front and center, in the middle of the aisle, orans position and everything. I already like this guy. He reminds of another old African man — ...
Hang Together

Hang Together

1 year ago with 70 comments in Uncategorized
Somebody asked me the other day why Adoration is the one thing I can hold on to. Context for the question: I’m a hot mess. Without going into specifics, celibacy1 has not been exactly my forte lately. There was a guy,2 and now there isn’t. And although in some ways it ended extremely well, and although a decade and a half of now done darkness3 taught me how to keep a pretty even ...

National Coming Out Day 2016

1 year ago with 19 comments in Uncategorized
Happy National Coming Out Day. Since I came out as gay in 2013, my life has gotten more complicated in some ways and less complicated in other ways. It’s more complicated because I have to take being gay seriously as a part of myself. I don’t have the freedom anymore to say that it isn’t that important, that it’s always something manageable, that it doesn’t touch ...
Full Circle

Full Circle

2 years ago with 16 comments in Uncategorized
Dear Amy,1 Thanks for asking about this. The idea of “offering things up” is actually pretty central to my understanding of Christianity, and I’m happy for an opportunity to talk about it. I don’t remember where I first heard of the idea, but I think it has its basis in one of St. Paul’s letters — let me look it up — it’s Colossians 1:24. I ...
Las Honduras

Las Honduras

2 years ago with 3 comments in Uncategorized
The Gospel reading today was the healing of the Gerasene demoniac. It’s an episode full of striking details, this one, for example: “Night and day…he was always crying out and bruising himself with stones.” When he cries out, is it the possessed person crying out in pain and horror, or is it the possessor[s] making themselves heard? Or is it some third option — ...

Serious Moonlight

2 years ago with 7 comments in Uncategorized
I woke up this morning to a palpable, startling sense of loss. I cried while walking the dog, and didn’t know why. It wasn’t till I got to work that I heard David Bowie was dead. The most likely explanation for my sourceless melancholy was my own weird neurochemistry, some stress over family trouble, some feelings of disorientation and overwhelmedness at my new job in a new city ...
Dark

Dark

2 years ago with 14 comments in Uncategorized
I have this idea that the world is an enormous dark whirlwind, a huge engine of death. It tears up and grinds everything in its path, trying to reduce everything to soot and dust and burnt gristle. And then the good we do is sparks of light, but those sparks get sucked right up into the arms of the whirlwind, and then they go deep down inside, and you don’t know what has happened to ...